The Dead Pool
by OneSizeFitsAll
Summary: Legolas and Thranduil, led by Gollum, go on an epic (or not so epic) quest to throw coins into the dead marshes. But the outcome of their mission isn't exactly what any of them expect. Rated T for scary, disturbing mental images but no more.


**A/N: Okay, so here's another weird, random, weird, creepy, weird, disturbing, weird, etc. story I wrote. Be prepared to creeped out. REALLY creeped out. And fairly confused by the end. If you aren't, then that's all right, but it's best to be prepared anyways.**

**Warning: This story is rated PG13 for scary, creepy, freaky mental images. Some of these images maybe extremely disturbing to children under the age of 13 (and possibly people above that age as well). Parents strongly cautioned.**

Nobody's quite sure what it is with wishing pools in Middle Earth. Let's just say those that live there are obsessed with luck. But then nobody knows what's with _that_.

Whatever is with it, the people, elves, dwarfs, hobbits, etc who live there love nothing better than throwing coins over their shoulders into ponds and making wishes...except for the ones who are too stingy to spare the coins.

It is such a popular pastime, that people go on guided tours across Middle Earth to all the different wishing pools. Legolas, especially, was crazy about doing this. He'd been to practically every pool there was, throwing coins into the water. The other elves all wondered how much a comparatively young elf prince could have to wish for.

As I mentioned already, Legolas had been to practically every pool in Middle Earth, and now he was bored. You can't wish multiple times at the same pool, so now there seemed to be nothing more to do. His dad wouldn't even let him go slay orcs with his friends, Aragorn and Gimli. The world seemed to be a howling wilderness of boredom.

Thranduil, meanwhile, was getting worried about his son. Legolas had taken to wandering aimlessly about Mirkwood, moping to himself. He seemed to have no more purpose in life...he had even let off making obvious comments, an extremely serious state of affairs.

So the Elven King was very relieved one morning when Legolas sprinted into the throne room looking like his old grim, determined self.

"Hey, Dad," he said, determination and fortitude written in every feature, "can I borrow some money?"

"Again?" asked Thranduil. He wasn't sure whether to be pleased or annoyed. He was glad Legolas was one more acting like himself, but he didn't want to lend him money. Legolas had never paid back a single cent he had borrowed...and he had borrowed a lot. "What for now?"

"I met this guy who says he'll show me where to find a ton more wishing pools. I need some coins to throw in."

"More wishing pools?" Thranduil has been rather hoping Legolas had exhausted the supply. He had nearly exhausted the supply of coins in Thranduil's treasury. "Really, Legolas," he said, "haven't you made with wishes? Besides, it's dangerous to travel around Middle Earth these days. You can't trust anyone. Speaking of which, who's this guy you we talking about?"

"His name is Gollum..." began Legolas.

"That settles it," said Thranduil. "I've heard of this Gollum. He's a dangerous cut-throat, not to mention a creep, what's more. You're not going anywhere, young and alone, with the likes of him."

Legolas suddenly hit on a seemingly brilliant idea. "You can come with me!" he said eagerly. "You're brave! You can handle cut-throats and creeps! You'll protect me!"

"I will not!" said Thranduil. "I don't understand what you find so fascinating about throwing coins over your shoulder anyways!"

"But you will when you come and try it for yourself!"

"No I won't. I'm not coming."

"But Dad..."

"No!"

"But Dad..."

"Never!"

"But Dad..."

"Not on your life!"

* * *

A week later, Thranduil found himself with a knapsack on his back, following Gollum and Legolas under the blue sky. They had traveled a long way, all the way down through Mirkwood, past Dol Guldur, across the Brown Lands and Emyn Muil.

Not that Thranduil knew all this. He was not well versed in geography, as he did not often wander beyond the borders of his own kingdom. He preferred to leave the outer world to itself; to it joy and pain.

He was reflecting on how much better it was to leave the world to itself, to remain happily in Mirkwood, feasting and drinking, having fun, getting rich, when suddenly he stepped into a puddle. He shook off his daze and looked up.

"He's led us into a swamp!" he cried.

"A swamp, yessss," said Gollum. "Smeagol will lead you by safe paths through the mist."

"Just look at all these wishing pools," exclaimed Legolas as they went along. He pulled out a large bag of coins and started tossing them into every pool they passed.

One of the coins didn't make it into the water. It landed neatly on the bank. Legolas didn't notice as he continued to shower coins (and presumably wishes) in every direction. Thranduil quietly stooped and picked it up. Legolas had paid back one cent of all he owed.

Now Thranduil noticed that there were many coins lying along the banks. One by one he pocketed them, until finally Gollum noticed what he was doing.

"Don't follow the coins!" he said, grabbing Thranduil's hand. He pointed to a pool nearby. A body lay in it, half suspended in the water.

"There are dead things!" cried Legolas helpfully, sounding as distressed as Legolas ever could sound. "Dead faces in the water!"

"All dead. All rotten," said Gollum. "Elves and men and orcses. This way. Don't follow the coins, or elves go down to join the dead ones."

Thranduil shivered. But that didn't stop him from pocketing another coin. He wasn't following them...it had practically been under his foot.

He continued to collect coins whenever one lay in his path. He did not notice when he dropped behind Gollum and Legolas, who was still scattering coins. He didn't notice when he turned a different direction then the one the others were going. He did notice when he stepped into a pool he hadn't seen before, but by then it was too late. He fell forward, face down into the water.

The water engulfed him. In the pool he saw the faces of the dead, screaming and grasping, their rotten robes and and hair flowing about their gruesome faces. They came closer, reaching out to embrace him.

A hand suddenly caught his cloak and the next thing he knew he was lying on the bank, gasping for air. Legolas had saved him. Of course. That was Legolas's job. It was particularly Legolas's job in this story.

Gollum glared at Thranduil darkly. "Don't follow the coins!" he said again, and began to crawl away.

"Wait a minute," said Thranduil, sitting up. "If you think I'm going forward another step, you're wrong. Take us back to Mirkwood right now!

Legolas looked distressed and stoic. "But I haven't finished making wishes!" he said.

"Too bad for you," said Thranduil immovably. "You should be grateful for what you have."

"I know," said Legolas, brightening. "You can wait here while Gollum and I go on. Then we'll come back for you and we can all go home together."

"No way!" said Thranduil.

"But Dad..."

"Never!"

"But Dad..."

"Not on your life!"

* * *

Half-an-hour later, Thranduil was reclining against a bush in a state of utter boredom. It only made it worse that he was staring right at a gold coin, lying uselessly on the ground only ten feet away.

He was NOT going to pick it up, he told himself. Legolas wasn't there to save him any more. Of course, should he get himself into a scrape, Legolas _would _be there before it got to late to save him. That was who Legolas was.

Thranduil brightened at the thought. He brightened so much, in fact, that he almost stood up. But then he remembered how terrifying the faces in the water had looked. He shivered and settled back down. No, even if Legolas could (and would) save him before he died, he was not going to pick up that coin.

But nonetheless, it was agonizing to sit there and stare at it. He squeezed his eyes shut to lessen the pain.

* * *

When Thranduil opened his eyes, he saw Legolas before him. That did not surprise him. Legolas was the sort of person you expected to see when you opened your eyes after accidentally falling asleep. What did surprise him was that Legolas had several large, bulging sacks with him.

"What's that?" asked Thranduil.

"Money," said Legolas, smirking.

Thranduil whistled softly. There certainly was a lot of it. "Where'd you get it?" he asked.

"I wished for it," replied Legolas smugly. "Now I have millions of whatever currency we use and can do whatever I want with it. I think I'll go find some more wishing pools."

"Oh, no you won't," said Thranduil, chuckling in glee as a brilliant idea flashed over him. "I think it's time we squared accounts."

Legolas gaped as Thranduil drew a small black notebook from his pocket. He turned pale as his father opened it, allowing him to see the pages covered with small, neat handwriting.

"Oh no! Dad..."

"Oh yes, son."

"But Dad..."

"Yes, you will."

"But Dad..."

"That's just too bad for you."

Thranduil had finally gotten even with Legolas.

**A/N: Thanks for reading, please review.**


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